Jun 5, 2011

It's Him


Yours Always,

May 7, 2011

The End ---- It is always "AGAIN"

Yeah, so that's the end of the story AGAIN. I failed in love AGAIN. And I regret AGAIN. And AGAIN I really want to say this, I don't want to fall in love AGAIN. Like fucking honestly? He's sitting beside me now and he was sleeping but can you guys please help me?

Should I say this?

NO, that's the thing. But the main thing now is, I COULD NEVER MOVE ON.
I mean like, I fucking love him so fregging much -_______________-' I know, stupid.
He is really something that I should hold on to. Something that really could put a light on my fucking face. And now I have to let him go, wow. NOOOOOOOOO! It's like putting a fucking stone on my head.
Look, I've been fighting with this fucking feelings and I really tried to hate him but you have no fucking idea how much I struggled just to keep my lips like this ---> (: but still inside of me chose to do this ---> ):
Mannnn, I pretend to be happy so that he could see that I'm happy without him by my side.
When I said, we will never be together anymore. I FUCKING LIED.
I'm full with this shit ego inside of me and I just couldn't say it out. Fuckmylife. I hate this, I swear.
It's fucking torturing me and I'm following the order. I don't even take any sleeping pills anymore eventho I know it's hard to sleep and rest while his in your head, running around like a song. Never leave. BUT I PUSH MY FUCKING EYES TO FORGET ABOUT IT AND GO SLEEP, TRUST ME IT'S USELESS, YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I RE-READ ALL HIS OLD MSGS AND JUST IMAGINE HE'S SMILING AT ME LIKE HE ALWAYS DO. See, it hurts as fuck, CAN DIE I FUCKING SWEAR.
My god, mannnnn! Why don't you just say you don't love me anymore instead of saying you'll always love me?
Don't you know I'm currently suffering to death just because I couldn't fucking move on?
I've been crying my tits off these days, I'm worried about you every fucking second.
You have no idea how much I care about you. I might sound like over protective but seriously get the fuck off it, I don't give a shit. I JUST FUCKING LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU SEE THAT?

But what should I say? What can I do? The heart says what words can't explain itself.
Now you're gone, and there's someone trying to get into the line. But still, I can't keep my mind off you, this is fucked up. I miss you I guess ): But don't worry, I'll get over you. One day, one day, I will.
I won't wash you away from my mind but I'll just live my life and our memories will be well kept in this little heart which always yours now and forever.

The MothaF,
Ara xxx

Apr 26, 2011

Special Note

I've been with him for almost 4 months and I admit we had loads fight.
But believe me, none of them could stop me from loving him or make one of us walk away and move on. NONE.
I'm doing good with my studies, I shut the principle and the headmistress's mouths up with my improvement at scool especially in studies plus I'm no longer a trouble maker.
I swear, I never stand this long with no fight and no more max volume of my voice.
It's pretty hard to stay in this situation but I'm doing great so far.
When people talk bad behind me, I didn't go to them and punch them, no more.
But my boyfriend taught me one thing, he said "Smile" cause it's the enemy's weakness and their breaking part.
I did and believe me, he was right.
His parents really help me with giving me advices and taking care of our relationship.
They even worry if we break up, well that's not gonna happen, InsyaAllah.
I have nobody who could be in the same boat as me at school other than him(my boyfriend), Andrew of course but we're no longer a bestfriend. Just a normal class/schoolmate. I'm pretty good with it and could take it as long as it's school stuff. We are in the same group in Science lab, same group in BI, same group in sport, lol I swear it's not easy and awkward.
But as I said, I'm all fine with it.
I'm happy with my current life, and I'm living it.
As you guys can see, I rarely update my notes, unlike before. No more 24/7 online.
Go to school, follow my boyfriend to his house and spend time watching korean movie with him until 5/6 or sometimes we go to library, dinner with his family and he got tuttion at 6 or 8 in two hours while me studying at home till 10 and do what I usually do before sleep, call him until he fall asleep.
It's kinda bored, but I like it. I don't feel like I'm lifeless anymore, you know.
And we only can go out on Friday and Saturday. Movie is on "a must" list now.
Well, i might like it but not him. It's like a new life to him and I understand. he's not a bookworm like me.
Trust me, He could fall asleep just by listening to craps or looking at book's cover.
He stopped smoking, I kiss him every fucking day and the smell is so diff than before. So I know if he smoke or not.
He don't even go party anymore, no more drink drunk. He even do his pray and i fucking proud with him.
Just like I said, I know it's torturing him. Having a Gf who nags like his mom, and living in his own home which is he call prison.
I feel you, honey. But soon you'll know why are they doing that to you.
It's for your own good. I'm not saying this with no point but I've been there, worst than you and when the day come, you'll know.
You're a easy person, you loves your friends so much and listen to them eventho you know it's wrong and that's why I'm being just like your mom here.
You said, I nag like your mom, hit you like your mom. Just like her, you know what?
You're going to find yourself a wife who could be just like your mom, one day when you think again.
You know it's true. For now, you don't have to take this serious because I know we are young and our main priorities are family and studies.
It's not that I'm taking you easy, you know how much I love you, my man. You know how much I care about you.
I'm sorry for nagging at you but think again honey, I nag about your future, and mine too.
I want to see your name on top and screw those mothafucka's heads who couldn't stop judging you.
For now, let them talk and we do the walk okay?
Trust me, I do all ths for your own good. Drop the dark side and look at the bright side.
You don't even fight with your mom like before anymore. We all know MOMS COULDNT STOP NAGGING and we as a childs only could listen and try to deal with it.
I admit we need a friend to survive but when no one look at us or turns away, the only one who would take us back is our family. Put them on top.
No matter how bitchy they are, without them you won't meet your friends now, you won't meet me.
I swear on Allah S.W.T's name, the only one. I really love you, there's no the word "cheating" in my life since I was born into this world. And it wont happen. I know myself and I know how far I can go for someone I love.
You are special and weird, and it makes you special in my eyes. Funny guy is the man now.
I know it might be the trillion times, but you are uber cute when you upset, sulk at me, when you give me that "poyo" face, when you laugh, even when the tears fall from your eyes. Your face is fucking red.
You are hardworking but you have to know where to put the hardworking word when it comes to our life.
Not just in career but in studies and how we take care our sibs and parents's heart.
You are caring, no doubt. You listen to me and never disobey me everytime I ask you to do something.
Eventho how lazy you are on that time, you never say no to what I want.
That shows how you do really care and love me actually. I'm seriously serious, I'm fregging proud of you.
Life always fair but we make it unfair, so honey. Let's plan and change our life to a better life. And see how is it going if we walk in the right track.
InsyaAllah, we will make it.


Yours Always,
Pell <3

Mar 31, 2011

Few Shit I Have To Throw Away

Hi guys! I'm sorry for not able to post anything on blog for so long.
I prefer Facebook Note or Tumblr where you could find on my information on Facebook.
So If I want to update or share anything, Facebook Note will be my first choice and I'll update them on blog after few weeks(If I only remember). So yeah, for stranger who havent add me yet, please search Summer D'cruz on Facebook and makesure it's mine because I've got loads of so-called twins on Facebook. Not 2 or 3 but 40plus (:
I've been updating them on my wall ao for those who want to see those cunts, please.
And for those who have been waiting for my post, let's make it easy through Facebook Note.
I'm sorry for my grammar, SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY. Im not perfect but atleast I'M LEARNING not TALKING.

Oh back to my main title, FEW SHIT I HAVE TO THROW AWAY---from my life.
I'll list them down and please again I remind you guys.
This is my blog and I do and say whatever I want. Im living my life, walking and walking through the pains and happiness in my life so I know what's best for me to say or to do. You have no fucking idea how hard is it to be ME.

1. SYED ABDULLAH(My Ex-boyfriend, few years ago)

I hope his girlfriend know that he still contact me and Im the virus he's been talking about. Im totally over him for almost a year and Im not turning back, Will never. And he has new Gf which is younger than me and Im trully happy for him atleast he could move on and find someone else but the thing is, he said that girl reminds him of ME? And he still texting me even how fucking manytimes he promised me he will move on but I guess it's been his part of sweettalking stuff. I hope he could stop texting me and love his Girlfriend sincerely. Im so happy for him, I SWEAR(I dont promise people because I know promises are nothing now).

2. Adzeem Ghazali(A Liar)

Can I say, FUCK YOU? Why did I call him LIAR? He lied to me about himself. I dont want to tell everything about him here but enough with saying -HE LIED TO ME ABOUT HIS FUCKING IDENTITY- How can I love this cunt if he lied to me? I accept him back just because my friends asked me to try! And I did but honestly? I COULDNT LOVE SOMEONE WHO ALREADY THROWN SHIT TO MY FACE! So please ask you god damn mother cuker sister to stop pretending that she is actually you. And FUCKING MOVE ON OR LETS MAKE IT SOFTER, GET LOST.

***I'll add up later, Thanks for reading.

Mar 26, 2011


Love is knowing God is there,
To help you find the way.

Love is holding someone close,
And helping them to pray.

Love is being near to help,
When someone is in pain.

Love is reaching out with hope,
When there is only rain.

Love is never give up,
Eventho the hurricanes crushing us badly.

Love is something that won't fade away,
When clouds and storms appear.

Love is saying gentle words,
When others turn away.

Love is doing all you can,
To brush away each tears

Love is striving for the best,
And sharing it each day.

Love is believing one another,
To find each happiness.

Love is never lie to heart,
Because the heart never lies.

Love will only be true and real when we have FAITH in one another and SACRIFICE for the one we LOVE just to see their HAPPINESS and never tell LIES so they will tell the TRUTH.


Feb 26, 2011


Season by season's changing,
And the sun is fading away,
As the dark never leave.

Here I am standing alone,
Wondering what will happen tomorrow,
Will you ever fall in love to me?
Will you ever know how much I need you?
Will you see this lonely soul keep on waiting for you?

Ive built my love so strong,
Just to win your cold heart,
But that means nothing to you,
You dont understand, cant see or even feel,
How hurt myself struggling here, stuck in your heart.

But no matter how hurts it is,
Or how much pain Im going to face,
I would never give up,
I will always wait,
Will always,
As Im still standing here now.

*Random note, Im not brokenheartedgirl OKAY (:

by Ara D'cruz on Sunday, 20 February 2011 at 23:05

Future Secret- Words From Heart

This is the latest note I write randomly.
Well, I dont have a boyfriend, but oneday after I finish my studies and get a good job, Ill think about it.
And why am I saying all ths crap? Because this note is going to make people think that Im in a relationship with someboy but actually Im not.
Im just trying to imagine myself happy in someone's arms.
Imagine everything I wish I could capture in my mind now.
So here we go,
Er btw, Im using rojak languages here. Streetspeaksstories! (:

Whoever he will be, I want him to feel like he's the luckiest and the happiest guy in the world.
Lets call him, SECRET.

Secret, staring at your eyes could take this soul away.
Your smile, its real and the sweetest I have ever seen in this world.
Your face, its soft and pure as your heart.
Tell me, where could I find another boy like you?
The only boy who could stop my heart from beating?
I might dont know who you are but I could smell the happiness and see those precious day we're going to thru.
You know what, Secret?
Its 4am now, and Im listening to my brah's song.
You're going to meet him, once we meet.
He's a master pianist and I love him so much!
So be a good boy because he will only approve a good boy and I WILL ONLY LISTEN TO HIM.
Oh! I also have pet bro! He is a drifter and a good writer too!
Lets not forget my bestfriends! Haziq, Andrew, Natt and I will bring you to meet them all. They are all I have other than my family so everystep I take, Ill let them know first. They are my everything and youre going to be a part of them oneday.

Oh sorry, Secret, back to my main story.
I know, I look stupid writting all ths thing but this is the first note youre going to read in future.
And I dont know why am I crying while writting this piece.
Whats so special abt you, my secret?
I felt weird tonight, its like Im going to meet someone who really loves me and I just dont know who he is.
Secret, is that you?
We already met but in my dreams and I couldnt see you clearly.
But Im having the same dream everynight since last week.
I saw myself laughing and someone's hugging from back.
My heart feel so warm on that time.
Is that you?
If yes, I want you to know that you have the most pure face.
Its lovely, yes you have a lovely voice. Soft and lovely ♥
You sound so happy in my dream.
I dont know how to explain but trust me, we are like in heaven.
Me in white dress and you with white simple outfit hugging each other at some island.
We play hide and seek in woods and laying on greeny grass staring each other.
Beautiful, right Secret?

To be cont...

by Ara D'cruz on Friday, 11 February 2011 at 04:27

Karma Is Going To Make Love With You, Boy.

There was a poor girl fell in love with a rich boy, but he hates her because her status. That girl never told anyone abt her feelings towards that boy but one of that boy's friend knew it since that girl accidentally open her private blog and forgot to recheck. So everything messed up and that boy's group met her up and spit out bunches bad words but she didnt fight back, she said thanks and walk away.


Boy's Friends:
Wow! Who do you think you are? Have you even look at yourself before loving someone like him? Listen here, he not gonna look at you or remember your name cause he knw that he could get 10times better than you. So we guess, its time for you to stop dreaming aye? Haha. Move on girl.

I know and Ive realised that. Im sorry and thanks.


Dear reader, you might think she already move on but neah. She keep that feeling for her self and keep loving that boy since 2 years ago until now.
She was wondering, is this what we supposed to call life? Unfair? And even after that, she never stop loving him because she already promised herself to wait. She really loves that boy.

Trust me, after reading all ths. I cant stop thinking abt her.
Why would they do that to her? I wonder what will that boy do when he's in that girl's situation.

I believe that, there will be a bitch come to him and give him all his shits back for what he have done. I called that bitch, KARMA.

Stay tough baby <3
Pray for her, girls.

by Ara D'cruz on Friday, 14 January 2011 at 00:26

Story Morry II

Okay I am back. Just done reading her answers for me on Formspring.
Those are real chillis but I dont mind because I know part of her craps question was written by herself as what Ive read on her Formspring and from some friends mouths.
She said that she know me loads but thats from my ex Bf and he hates me so yeah he would say what ever he want kan?
And end of all this thing is, I dont want to know about her anymore because I know Im not as immature as her.
I might be not rich as her but atleast Im rich in different way, innerside (:


Okay Ive got another story about my schoolmate.
She's from Indonesia and now a year older than me, well she was my friend but now not anymore since she caused me to big trouble that almost kick me out from my new school.
I was waiting for her after class but my senior told me that she ran away ealier.
Okay that fine for me because I dont really want to think about it but not for all my seniors and classmates.
They keep on looking for her and finally found her with her lil sister at bus stop and I met her, ask her what's her problem? And she keep denying all those stories she have mixed up and Andrew slapped her for calling him pussy. Well she deserved that.
She asked me to call teacher and ask her myself, I didnt go but I asked her to call our teacher since she were the one who really wanted to prove it to me.
Guess what? After almost half an hour, she didnt show up. I mean never! Yes she ran again from us.
See? Another BITCH STORY (:
And I decided to settle this up on Monday next week, when I got home and online suddenly saw her posting this:

"TODAY : Andrew De Cruz dtg n sound ak coz ak ckp dye cam ppn, ak brdiri lempng dye kuat2 n ckp "kw ingat kw laki ak tkot ?" ak pukol dy, dy tahn 2 tgn ak, ttau buat pe ak putar je tngn dy, mmpos,n bohsia dy dtg kt ak, time uh ad 7 ppn, 2 laki nk srang ak,lmpangla if brani, dy tnak lmpang ak tpi nk tmbok ak,ak ckp cubela,tpi tk 1 pn tngn mlkat kt bdn ak, BANGGA!1 pn tk brani nk sntuh ak yg SORANG :)"

I'll copy our conversation aye? And btw Andrew is my bestfriend and this Putry blablabla is the one that Im talking about.


Andrew De Cruz:

Summer D'cruz :
HAHAHAHA HEY STUPID INDO. Just farging shut up your friggn mouth. Why dont you tell them that you're the actual coward? And why did you run from us? Oh and now you are asking me why didnt I slap or punch you? Because you didnt said any wordyou bimb coward! You was abt to call your teacher aye? And guess what guys? We've been waiting you for almost half an hour and none of your part showing up! So please tell the farging truth next time pussyless! What a pathetic girl you are, berani dkat FB tp dkat sekolah, menyorok sampai ke library, tak nak keluar. Wtf, mulut cerita tak serupa bikin. Patutlah indon. BHAHAHA

PutRyy ZuLandty:
bohsia pilipine jgn cite gebang laaa haiii , bawak anggota buda2 bodoh sume hahahah ! kw merosak skola aku laaa weh ! islam bertato sampai kat pepek2 kw pun ada , meyh la trun hrini klau ade brani , bukan kw kea yg gle nak lari dri aku , sepupu due bjik ni memang , CITE GEBANG

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Please lah Putri, its actually called Pan Asian you stupid, not Indonesial. Wehweh, sebelum kau masuk sekolah tu. Aku dah masuk dulu lah, sila sedar diri okay? And again, yang cerita gebang dkat sini KAU! Kau yang tak gentle sampai menyorok! Tak payah lah malu2 nak mengaku, silap haribulan masuk paper kau mengaku pecah mulut nanti. Kalau ya pun takut malu nak mengaku tak apa, aku faham. Aku boleh je shh sampai aku jumpa aku. Please ah, youre 17 for god's sake but you're frggn far from that fact. Dont you feel stupid childish for figthing on FB? Please just stop making up fake stories and let me lend you my hands to kiss your fuck face. Stop bbling kid (:

Andrew De Cruz:
pell , dont english-ing here, because she doesnt understand it at all . :D

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHAHAHA I thought that's the only language she understand since she doesnt even talk when she have to talk yesterday? Plus she is farging Indon right? HAHA

PutRyy ZuLandty:
hahahha , setidaknye bahasa indonesia lebih sedap di denga daripde nhase pilipino , alaaahai , mcm ni kea prangai bohsia dari pilipino ?

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHA That's all you got? Youre my another funeh stuff (:

PutRyy ZuLandty:
cuuuiiih .

Summer D'cruz:
I would like to call that as 'out of words'. Again, stop making up stories on Fb pussy.


She didnt reply after that LOL =.=
Okay then my bestfriend updated his status like this :

"psst , Summer D'cruz! si PELACUR PutRyy ZuLandty ckp dea bantai aku ? oh wtf ? dea kene sepak dah nak nangis pastu lari g pustakaan lagi xley blah wakakkakakaka haihhh!"

PutRyy ZuLandty:
kpale buto , bsok kw turun , apple sume cari kw , pandai2 lah nak protect diri , ngan bohsia pilipine kw uh , huaaaaa .

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHA Woi penakut! Kalau ye pun kau kecut tak payah nak menyorok lah jibai! Dah lah Indonesial! Pengecut! Bawak lah Apple kau tu jumpa aku! Haha, setakat kau bawak rombongan nak jatuhkan aku, tak kisah lah weh. Kau lah yg pelacur sampai buat maksiat dkat tangga Sg Wang. Babi geli. Setakat tayang muka dkat BB jadi budak poyo tiap2 minggu baik kau suruh pondan2 kau turun sini lah, indon!

PutRyy ZuLandty:
alahaaai , takot ckap laaa , kang apple2 tu skali matikan kw cuak derr , soh trun tade brani nak bersemuka , kalau gentle sgt takkan ah korang smllm ramai2 betina2 placor tade 1 pun sentuh aku yg sorang2 jea ? HAHAH .

Summer D'cruz:
Hello? Diaorang tak sentuh kau sbb diaorang bukan busybody mcm kau. Hal aku biar aku settle. Buat apa nak panggil boyfriend backup? Pussy gila! Setakat berani dlm Fb pergi longkang lah bodoh.

PutRyy ZuLandty:
kw la pegi longkang , aku tak laayan , hahahha , badan hampir sume bekas kw dah rasa , tak daa maruah buda pilipino ni

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHA Kau boleh type elok elok tak? Jangan bawa pengaruh Indonesial kau ke sini okay? Aku buat jahat aku tak tunjuk lah weh, aku buat jahat cara bermaruah bukan mcm kau sampai public pun tak kisah! Dasar anak indon!

PutRyy ZuLandty:
dah sume laki rase badan kw uh , nak kate BERMARUAH agy ? haaalooo .

Summer D'cruz:
HAHAHA SEMUA LELAKI? Oh please? I am not you and would never be like you so dont ever try to put me in your dirty boat okay? Again I say, stop making up fake story (:

PutRyy ZuLandty:
hek eleeeeh , ngan PP , marcus , ngan jntan lenn kat tandas hotel uh kw buat apaaa ? mngaji ? sume boy yg dah rase kw , FUCK KW laaa orang pilipinoo , hine sial .

Summer D'cruz:
Hahahaha please call them up to this post. I would like to see and hear it from themself (:

PutRyy ZuLandty:
tayah laaaa nak bajet speaking , kat kampung kw ada pokok jea .

Summer D'cruz:
Hahahaha! My hometown own the most biggest mall and casino after Singapore and Malaysia. Stop being stupid and start reading.

Andrew De Cruz:
dari kau putry , kuar mintak duit kat aku pastu kene korek kat tangga eeee pengotorrr!

Summer D'cruz:

Fat :
i agreed with u andrew
hope si putri placur 2 nk settle hal nie


Again! She didnt reply (:
Why would I afraid if I didnt do any of shit as what she said?
I even asked her to call my ex to our post but neah. She's afraid =.=
And about Apple? LOL please, I knw him better and that guy has been rejected by me last 2months.
Ive got the proof lol! And Apple is Putry's boyfriend. I think she's jealous LOL thats why she need to mix up all those stories.
Lucky mama datang and explain to my teacher about all her fake stories.
Thanks Mama for spending your time to show up and help me out.

And today, I went to Pavi and saw Putry. So I asked Andrew to call her and let settle this thing.
She called Apple and she look really freaked out lol. And suddenly she's missing again in the crowd of Pavi. Pfttt
Seeeee? I even called her but someone else picked it up and asked her to come to Starbucks but again they didnt show up =.=
Pussy right?
Ive got all the proof when all this happening, my friends was there and I still keep all the msgs (:
So thats the story for my colourful day today.
I wonder what she's going to post after this =.=

Oh btw about that blonde bitch that I was talking about on my previous note, please read my another note. Old note for her here.


by Ara D'cruz on Sunday, 23 January 2011 at 01:46

Story Morry

Bunch things happened today and Im glad because Im still standing and smiling here. Firstly, funneh thing Im really interested with is abt this one bitch, blonde bitch Zamil said. True, I was pointing my status for her fakeness and she realized that but that wasnt the ending! Suddenly I saw her information saying that she's schooling at Sayfol Int Sch and she said that she's staying at Ampang? Ohmygod, I was really shocked and asked her, what class she's in and what levelstage, main course she's taking in Sayfol Int because I've got loads homies studying there. But she didnt reply, she deleted her comment and blocked me! Ladies and Gentles, she's studying at Batu Pahat and staying there alright? Not Ampang or Sayfol Int Sch. Another thing came up after I met Zamil and Andrew at Winter while having my meals and tea with Haziq. Andrew asked me if I have sent that bitch question on Formspring and I said no, they were laughing and ask me to read that bitch's Formspring. Guess what I've read, she's mixing up stories about me again and said that Im the one who sent her that crapy question. LOL what have crossed her mind? She got loads haters for god's sake! And I saw another question about her relationship stuff with my ex Bf. Well I knew that will happened and I dont care till my friend which is her ex Bf buzz me on IMchat and told me that he worried about that bitch, well I asked him to stop worrying about her because she got Bf to take care of her which I dint know that my friend is still in relationship with that bitch. Wow, that bitch told my friend she loves him but at the sametime she is in relationship with my ex Bf! See? Bitch right? She have to stop pretending and live her life with accepting the fact that SHE IS NOT THE PEOPLE CHOICE. LOL. I will cont in a while. Read this first aye?

by Ara D'cruz on Sunday, 23 January 2011 at 00:10

Jan 14, 2011


Phew what happened tonight?
I think Im just gonna make a short entry about tonight because I AM SERIOUSLY NOT OKAY but still, I need to spit out all this shit on this lame board.

Today, Ash my senior in Highschool called me and ask me for out lunch and do his flirt blablabla thing with this one girl. Lets call her "DAMN A"

And then after that we send her home and went to "IDONTKNOW" cafe at Titiwangsa and I took toast break to feed my giant tummy while nasi blablabla for Amirul and Ash.

Then start hujan lebat, guruh and kilat wtf blablabla. I asked him to send me home at Damansara and masa dalam kereta we was talking abt his EX GF, I called her Lenna.
Ash hates her after their breaking part last year and I told him that me and Lenna are bestfriend now and he pissed off to death and ask me to end the friendship and take Lenna down. Okay guys, tell me, how can I do that to someone who never talk bad about me or even hates me. She's just trying to be a good friend eventho she know that I was Ash's ex Gf.
I mean like take it easy, life never been good. There will always ups and downs in daily. It will still happen no matter how hard youve been trying to avoid it.
God's power. He's testing us lah.
Okay back to my story. Read this conversation first aye.

Ash: I want you to take her down.

Me: I wont do that and I'll stick with this one now and forever.

Ash: WOW, how can you still be friedn with someone who has dumped me?

Me: That wasnt my problem cause its between you and her, SHE IS NOT MY ENEMY AND NEVER MEANT TO BE ONE, yeah if you couldnt accept that me and her are friends and being good now, fine then. Id rather end our friendship cause me myself couldnt stand seeing my friend lost in his life, drinking and spoiling himself.

Ash: Get the fuck off from my car.

Me: Wow, thats a god decision as a man btw. Im out of this and youre not my bestfriend anymore and remember this is what you want and I'll tell you this one thing, I WILL REMEMBER ALL THIS SHIT. And please remember when you tried to take me down with all lies and fake stories years past but that never work on me cause YOU KNOW ME. And now you cant even accept the fact that you've lose.


Hah see. Then I keluar dari kereta tepat2 hujan lebat zzz
Masa I open his car's door ada motor datang dari belakang and langgar pintu dia. OH, thanks motor. And then again I hentak pintu kereta and tendang. Then walk away and seriously I dont know where the fuck I was just now. Just walk and walk and walk to One Utama.
And totally pissed off with Haziq yang tak faham bahasa and always misunderstanding with me. So he ignored me and btw he's the another reason for my breaking friendship just now. Cause I was asking for his help and bla3 but he was like "outofmood".

So thats the story. Now Im dying with this farging fever and headache. I think I'll be deadmeat in hours.
Okay yeah, Im done -.-
FRIENDS? I think I'll just fuck off.

Jan 11, 2011

When It Comes to 'LOVE'

She woke up from dreaming and put on her shoes,
Starting making her way past two in the morning,
She hasn't been sober for days,

Forgive me, I'm trying to find,
My calling, I'm calling at night,
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this boy?,
He's been running through my dreams,
And it's driving me crazy,
It seems,
I'm gonna ask him to marry me,

And even though he doesn't believe in love,
She's determined to call his bluff,
Who could deny these butterflies?,
They're filling her gut,

Waking the neighbors,
Unfamiliar faces,
She pleads though she tries,
But she's only denied,
Now she's dying to get inside,

The neighbors said he moved away,
Funny how it rained all day,
I didn't think much of it then,
But it's starting to all make sense,

Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds,
Are following me in my desperate endeavor,
To find my whoever, whoever he may be,

I'm not coming back, forgive me,
I've done something so terrible,
I'm terrified to speak,
But you'd expect that from me,
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt,
Now the rain is just Washing you out of my hair,
And out of my mind,
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground,
I'm over you now,
I'm at home in the clouds,
And towering over your head.

Well I guess,
I'll go home now.

*Boy, I hope oneday you'll realise that Im existed and Im here to love you and beloved by you.

Jan 10, 2011

Last Week

Hey there, its been a while since my last entry right.
Last week on Saturday was my first shoot job in 2011, Its for MUA-pf.
Quite tiring, from 7 morning to 6 pm.
So yeah, here are fews fav pictures.
UNEDITED. HIHI well I love original :D

MUA: Ieka Padieka
PH's: Ashraf Ahmad,Hisham Ali, Compax(Faiz), Ikmal H. Noordin, Ieka Padieka and another two unknown Ph's.